With our dating anniversary, I wanted to share some of our relationship and how it unfolded. If you haven’t read about our journey together before, you can check this post out first, but I’ll kinda touch on the same parts of our relationship here.
With Valentine’s Day upon us, it’s a romantic season of commitment, love and celebration. Some may not celebrate a dating anniversary, but we do for two reasons:
1) because it’s important to us
2) because it feels like a real milestone.
Sometimes we celebrate with just flowers, a dinner and dessert, or surprise gifts to each other if we remember (one of my love languages is gifts). Whatever it is- we do something and it’s an intentional time for us to spend time together. We recognize that not everyone stays together and is as lucky as we are, it’s been almost 13 years married and already 13 years together since we met, that’s huge in our generation. It deserves to be acknowledged.
However fast our dating relationship was- it got us here and I couldn’t be happier. Our dating anniversary is February 10th 2009 and we wed on, yep I promise, September 19th of the SAME YEAR. I understand people do see that as rushing and being quite quick but we didn’t care. We were in love and tearing through what we wanted our lives to look like then.
We thought about military life and then quickly decided against that. You have to really be built and strong for that, physically and also emotionally. We just knew we weren’t. But we continued on anyway. What I did in the years to come- I wasn’t doing any of it without him. It was instant and passionate and enthralled; but it was and is real. I believed in it then and I still do to this day – when you know, you know.
Basically, we met through friends who he was crashing with at the time. My best friend Ashley and I planned to meet up and go explore downtown to get me out of the dorm and visit with her. Well her and her boyfriend at the time brought along this guy. Now I see he may have had a selfish purpose, but I didn’t care, because I did too honestly. It all worked out for the best and we went slow physically anyway.
My last relationship had just ended and I wasn’t planning to bounce to a new man, but along came something I couldn’t and didn’t want to ignore.
He was funny, sassy and sarcastic and it was right up my alley. I never liked sarcastic or hard edge guys and yet when I met him it was different. He was exactly what I needed at that time, to just say screw the world- I’m going to be me and live however I want. Teaching me to stand up for myself has been a huge part of being partners. I had to grow a spine, for the betterment of me. Before him, I was constantly walked over and taken advantage of. Around the same time, we talked of being serious, and it was almost assumed because we were on the same wavelength.
Since then I have lost much of my own family and gained his family, which I couldn’t be happier about. He was not always in the best place- crashing on friends couches and figuring out work as he went along. I feel like we met each other at such an ideal time. We sorta rescued the other when we most needed it. It was unbeknownst to us that 13 years later- we would be where we are (in every sense). We’ve been through plenty of ups and downs. Jobs come and go for both of us, friends also come and go (when people take advantage of you or disrespect you), we’ve had financial burden and many blessings. Sean and I both held some jobs over the years nothing super impressive but enough to get by-we’ve come a long way and are very happy with where we’ve settled and made our life what we want it to be. I’m so happy we bought our home in a great area, we have our dogs (all 3), who we love endlessly and found our passion and boundaries in our relationship. I have truly learned that ‘the grass isn’t always greener on the other side’, even when you peek or think they are near perfect. I promise you they are not: looks can be deceiving, even when it’s hard to believe.
Here are some things I’ve learned a lot of things about having such a good partner (and I am in no way perfect at these things):
- You tell each other everything even when it’s hard to hear/say.
- Jealousy is a THING, deal with it or fix the issue. (Friends or otherwise)
- One of the more important parts of being a good spouse is finding where you are at fault, admitting to it and fixing it (not just saying you will, to keep the peace).
- Don’t go to bed angry- we don’t believe in it and it does no one good. If anything, just makeup and move on again in the morning. Give a kiss and tell them goodnight- drop the attitude and be sweet.
- Make each other better. Growth is a good thing, don’t become complacent in life instead always look for the hobbies/passions your partner has and wants to share with you. Be present and attentive: this is a big pointer.
- Laughter really is the best medicine! Laugh together and laugh often.
I hope some of our relationship story may have helped you in some way or another, and helped you see a bit deeper into our relationship that has lasted and held strong. I am so thankful for this man who turned our mess into a life that now I would never change for anything.
Do you celebrate Valentines Day or have a dating anniversary that you recognize? Tell me about it in the comments below.