Starting off I’ll give you some back story: this boy was my childhood best friend, first ever love interest and the grandson of my wonderful next door neighbors. So when I say we ‘grew up together’ we did, because because most of the time I was away with my grandparents but when he came to his grandparents then we could hang out 24/7. We were both each others first kiss. Growing up he was my person and I’d like to think I was his. That best friend who you just cant get enough of: talking, learning, being around each other and adventuring out together. I couldn’t have asked for a better childhood experience. Now I’ve grown up and moved on but he is still a VIP to me.
Recently, we reunited after a random messenger chat and a lot of “this happened and that happened” in each others lives. I didn’t know where to start and I was in shock. We just grew apart, after a few traumatic events and some drama-it just never got back to where it was. He moved to FL and I moved away and went to college. Though I never forgot our friendship, it was a new time in my life.
All I knew was that we had both been through a lot and yet it seemed so easy being back in each other’s lives. We’d had our ups and downs and it all felt natural that we snapped right back into a close knit friendship where we were against the world. And although people change constantly and grow up over a matter of years (8-10 years), sometimes it still feels the same. That’s nice to know you have “those” friends in your corner.
If you find yourself in a similar situation or trying to reconnect with someone from long ago, these are the four major tips and things I suggest:
1. We all have struggles-that we may or may not talk about
So with this one, there are a ton of things that you may not share with just anyone but that one or two closest people in your life know. Some things are so personal that they can be heavy on your soul and it feels better when you know someone gets it and feels your pain.
2. Time is irrelevant
The friend is just there through everything and will always be around no matter how much time has passed. It could be a week, 3 months or 5 years (or longer), but that person is right there when you need them on your team. Also know that if this doesn’t happen its for a reason, sometimes we grow apart and that’s okay too. Be at peace with it!
3. Friendship takes work and forgiveness
Go slow. It can be overwhelming trying to catch up and become close again after so long. And maybe it’s not weird or awkward at all but, still be patient with the other person and with yourself. Sometimes we say or do things that in the moment maybe we don’t understand from both perspectives. Take a minute, think about it and talk it over, apologize if needed and be accountable with where things went wrong.
4. You know who your people are
Don’t waste your life with the wrong crowd. You want to make sure that those around you are doing positive things in your life, understand you fully and support you when needed and don’t show any signs of use or abuse in a friendship/relationship space.
I think time can heal most wounds and although it was a great amount of time, I didn’t realize how heavy it would be. Things I had long forgot about were still affecting this other person. I had to do some inner work, apologize and more importantly forgive myself for not knowing. But the way a true soul bond friendship feels is very unique and I’m glad that I have that back again. Now we can continue a friendship as adults and once again share our lives with each other.
What do you think? Have you ever lost a true deep friendship or reunited with someone after years? What advice would you give to me or someone going through this? Leave me a comment letting me know what you thought. I felt like this was important to share and was therapeutic to get out for myself.