Dear Me,
I’ve been happily married to the love of my life for almost six years now and that is a long time for someone who’s the longest relationship prior to this was about 8-9 months max. All with just very selfish incompatible people who really weren’t the greatest people themselves either. I don’t know why I chose them I just did and that was pretty hasty. Now I think back to that time and realize that a year is a long time and that these six years have just flown by. We were engaged quickly because we had that deep gut feeling that we were meant to be and I still find it true.
Some things have changed like school and work, for instance, I used to be very motivated to “do better, be better” but it’s just not the case. After the economy took a large hit a few years ago I thought “what’s the point?” and just quit my now dead end degree in Psychology. Further schooling is needed to really do what I want to do and become successful. And to not really earn much money at all and be in a field where there are openings.
Blogging is a wonderful world to me. It’s been a constant in the past for almost 8 years, I have tried to document and re-document things that have happened and come up. To make it interesting I’m just trying to incorporate more “me” into the mix and connect more with other bloggers. As I begin to monetize and get sponsored posts, I just am proud of how far I’ve come and the work I have put in. I have toyed with photography to make my blog feel real and come alive. I have put some endless dollars into my design and always had a presentable nice clean blog site. Many things have changed and I have written hours upon hours of ups and downs and in-betweens. It is something I plan to continue and morph for a long time.
I’m also very proud just how far I’ve come as a person and a friend. I used to be a welcome mat, happy for people to come along step all over me and wipe off their shit. But no more! I have grown a real backbone now and that’s not to say I’m a bitch. I only tolerate quality people in my life now and realize I deserve better than that. I have learned not all friends stay with us through life and others come and go through stages. It’s most important to be there for each other always and be understanding.
This place I’m in feels oddly healthy and like I’m in a growth stage currently. Learning new things, trying new things and adapting to a new lifestyle. I have made goals come and go, “achieving is believing”. Now I wouldn’t call myself successful or driven, because well I’m not those things all the time. But again, there is progress happening and more to be made. I know what I have to work on and that is follow through. I need to search and contemplate what I really want in life and how to get there. My path has been challenging but not impossible and I have proven to myself with the help of my husband that I can get through anything. If I only try, listen and speak up when I need to.
So as you go through life, remember a few things, be patient, be kind, be sweet, be daring and most of all be yourself because that’s the only way to be.
Sincerely, the present me
