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Lately, I’ve been working incredibly hard on my personal development. I’m starting to put into practice the few things that I knew brought me peace, patience and sense of self for lack of other words. I feel like this might be a more common thing when you’re a homebody or stay at home mom and/or wife. Any combination of these things are totally normal. If you’re feeling funky and can’t shake it then try some of these tips and see if you feel better. I’m just trying to become a happier person by incorporating these into my day, week, month…
Listen To Music/Podcasts
Don’t just listen to your regular chosen music. If you can choose something new or put it on random/shuffle genres’ and simply let it play! I’ve found so many new songs I love or that really resonate with me because I let them play. If you don’t like one- you can switch it but try not to. I even have some mixes from college friends and I never knew what was what. Now it’s my favorite to listen and not immediately know every word. On the flip side, sometimes learning the true (i mean the real lyrics, not the made up ones) lyrics is a fun thing. By reading through you may have never known it said a “star ridden sky” where you maybe thought it said something totally different. It can make you happy knowing you’ll know what to sing in the car or next time at karaoke. I believe in positive uplifting music lastly, so if there’s any song that is on your heart- LISTEN TO IT. But don’t drown yourself in upsetting ballads if you just broke up with your boyfriend, choose instead “Last Friday Night” by Katy Perry to jump on the bed to. Always sing loud too even if you’re a horrible singer, it makes you feel great! Also I have a stockpile of great reading materials on Kindle, Audible and saved podcasts- if you want a list or recommendation, let me know in a comment below or tell me if you’d like a post about it. I’d be more than happy to do that!
Writing It Out
I just recently discovered how helpful this has been to me. It’s incredible how 2-3 sentences will change my day. It makes me think of things I wouldn’t have otherwise contemplated on. In some cases it even helps me remember a lot of what my memory has lost by forcing my brain to get working. Sometimes it is emotional but it helps me feel what I need to work through in tough times. Lately, I’ve been using the “Instant Happy Journal” (you can find it here) and it has changed my life. It’s not anything specific about it but it has great prompts and the fact that it’s now a dedicated part of my day is just great. I write the date in and all in the same pen. I was trying to be all neat penmanship and now I just flow. The thoughts come out of my pen ‘like word vomit’ literally sometimes I write clearer and quicker than my thinking is. I used to be big into daily free writes in classes I took and now it’s not so easy for me but if you have a lot to spill then go for it. I love to make to do lists daily and weekly and see how many I can really get achieved. I treat myself with something small if I complete everything. Another book I’ve gotten lots of calm use out of is the “52 lists project and the 52 lists of happiness” by Moorea Seal. They are easy and still very thought provoking yet fun to jot down.
I have an ample amount of time where I’m free to really choose what I want in my life. Because I have an open schedule and I’m a stay at home wife and blogger who doesn’t have a job. I like to only add a few things per month to focus on. And I noticed if I choose too many then I don’t have a clear connection to what I’m trying to accomplish. I pick a couple areas like Blog, Health, Faith, Entertainment, Personal usually with 2-3 (but no more than 5) which is still a lot. I try to keep reminding myself about those goals and sometimes I can check quite a few off unless I lose track and then I will just keep rolling them over to the next month. Things like reading for me are harder even though I want to, so I make reminders and carve out time at night or mornings to make sure I’m doing it.
I have enjoyed things that are healthy and good for my mind and soul. So taking these deeper, I found the Calm app when I was having a hard time dealing with stress and needed an out. One day I tried an emergency meditation and I felt like a whole new person. I had never meditated before and I didn’t think I was capable or even if I believed in it at all. So after using the free version (which is fine and gives you plenty) I went ahead and bought the paid version (*not sponsored) and loved it. I use it to this day whenever things are outta control in my world or if I need to take some deep breaths again.
Brain training is a bit different but just as awesome. People do this different ways; some people study subjects or do crosswords or Sudoku. But I found Luminosity app and I really liked it! I thought some were dumb or hard at first but they are supposed to be hard to make you think and train that brain of yours. When you push your limits and try new things, it makes the brain ‘grow’ in new channels and helps you think quicker and clearer. I try to do this as often as I remember to. I open it when I see it on my phone screen- if I’m in a waiting room, it’s perfect for a quick 5 minute session. I bought the paid version for this too but I have gotten the value out of it in a few sessions. It relieves the foggy feeling in my head, much like clearing the cobwebs out from not being in school and watching too much television.
I would say this is maybe the most important! My close friends (online or in real life) always have found a way to drag me out of my gloom and show me the light. It’s not that I was depressed but I wasn’t being my true, happy-go-lucky self. But if you have a partner in crime, a best friend, a rescue-me pal or whatever you wanna call your “person”- then you’re good to go. You don’t have to have many but you have to have at least one. Join a club, game online, start a blog or go meet up with friends you know from school or work-strike up a conversation and get to know them. Once you do make sure to tell them how much they mean to you-because well you just never know what could happen tomorrow. If you are sad or just not yourself and you don’t have a sad day buddy- I will be your fast friend. You can always come to me and I will listen and/or offer my two cents. So let me know if you need me, I want to be here for each of you. Without a tribe we become too inward and contemplative then soon it gets us nowhere but the bottom of an ice cream tub. And as fun and delicious as it sounds:
Try getting out of that ice cream tub without a ladder or a friends’ helping hand. It’s not easy!
*I’d like to thank and give love to: Pamela, Raewyn, Tausha, Krysten, Laura and Katie. You all are my tribe and everyday I’m grateful for all the ways you continually support and love me from afar. I love you ladies so much!
I really truly wanted to write this to help you. I was once there and am right now trying all these new and different tactics to make my life happier and more complete. The better you take care of yourself the better you’ll feel.