If you missed it, please read A Sister Part 1 before you read here so you know (what in the world) I’m talking about….
As I sat there shocked, my mom burst into tears and got rather standoff-ish. Guess she had a right to be. Come to find out, everyone had known before me, I had just discovered (and would continue to find out family secrets in the coming years, some of which I talk about in this blog) that more things were hidden from me which I had every right to know just like everyone else. I was really excited though and actually I took it the best I think. I wanted to meet her right now. I guess my sister Angela found out from my grandpa but I don’t know about the others. Either way, I felt betrayed that no one cared to tell me or thought I was important enough to know. How would that make you feel? Pretty awful right? I suppose I got over it right away, being sent off to camp was even more exciting. I would start my to write the sister I never knew I had, even though I always had a sneaking suspicion.
Off to camp I went, riding horses at Camp Tamarack and if you’re in the NW area, you should know what an amazing place it is. I went for several years and here I am getting way off track…….
One day I wrote my *new sister, ya know the one I had no idea about until about a week earlier.
I do not remember my letter to her, but I guess I wrote something about finding out about her and wanting to know every single detail of her life that instant. I asked for pictures and details of my new niece. I think that first letter must have been like 5 pages. I asked about her adoptive family and how they were to her etc. I had never felt like this before and it was so important to me that this was my chance to uncover who she was. The days that passed in between felt like a year, I’m lucky I was at camp or I’m sure I would’ve just gone crazy.
In her letter back here’s a sample of what was said.….
“Thank you very much for the pictures. I’m putting them all together. Except for the one of all of you. I have to show that one off Hopefully one day soon, we can all take one together. That would be really neat.
Oh and my mom’s name is ______.
Nora, you’re such a sweet girl! I am so proud to call you my baby sister.
Okay not a baby, but I always wanted to say that
If you ever want to ask me anything about me or whatever, ask! I’d love to answer anything for you. And I’d love to keep writing you.
You take care! We need to have you out here again soon! Talk to you soon:) Tell your Mom I love her if you hear from her before I do. (okay the smileys are getting scary!)
I love you! Big Sis, Kim
How could I get so lucky?! Such a sweet sister, someone I barely knew. I suppose I might’ve visited before I went to camp, I can’t really remember. I went there a few times before my dad passed in 2002 and I never knew what a crucial part of my life she’d eventually be. It’s kinda hard looking back too knowing things happened the way they did- but I am so thankful to have her everyday! When my dad passed away I spent a year or so bouncing around and finally ended up in Vancouver with my incredible new sister. I specifically remember reeling over the same questions of trauma and loss. I cried and cried. Feeling safe and vulnerable was important to me then, she made me feel that way better than most of my family could. I don’t know how she does it but I always feel so deeply heard and understood.
To make a long story short. I ended up living with her and her family for the rest of my high school education to have a stable home, family, and school. I was able to get assistance to get counseling as well and have medical/dental/vision care. It was about time, they generously decided to expand their house and make an extra room for me. I loved living there and unfortunetly I went through my tough teenage years and sorta put her through hell. Oops! (didn’t mean to Kim) Well I also wanted to feature another letter from the following year after I moved in and went back to camp. The first letter anniversary. I loved it! And once I left for camp I recieved another letter covering the recent events at home and talking us through our own new “family” struggles.
J misses you! August 2 2004 11:21pm
This may end up being short because its late here. But I wanted to write something so it reached you before you leave camp. Things are good here. J’s oarty was pretty good. Mom actualy came with Angela and Matt, which was nice. J got lots of new toys that you and I will enjoy, TONS of Polly Pockets!
Micheal will be here Friday. I’m getting really nervous.
Yes, J’s scab is healing. Almost gone. She shows me everyday.
I’m glad you are having fun! But I’m hoping things got better since you called me. I do understand your worrying. But remember- it won’t happen.
You need somewhere to be where you won’t feel that way- And guess what? You’re here! We love you very much!
I have noticed that you have offered to help. And I do appreciate that. Maybe I’ll put you to work when you get back. he he.
Bad news- Whiskers (cat) will probably be gone when you get back.
He totally peed all over your bed again. Good news is all the blankets and frame don’t smell-And we had to buy you a new mattress.
I’m sad he has to go- but we can’t all live that way.
We’ll have to maybe try some St John’s Wort together. Maybe it will help me too. I’d better go. Have to get up @6am. Please call when you get to Grammys. Love you lots, Kim
It wasn’t our shining hour but I remember so so so many times when I was struggling that year when I really had no one else close enough to talk openly to, she was there and made me feel better every single time. I don’t know how but she always talked me out of being sad. Sweetly. Sisterly. Calmly. Lovingly. I couldn’t express how immensely important that was to me. To give me a home and a place to stay with a toddler let alone and not knowing me very well either. It was incredible for her to do. I went to a good school, had pretty good friends for the most part, extracurricular sports and clubs, good teachers and tried so hard to pull good/acceptable grades- I was NEVER a good student. I was by no means out of control but I wasn’t easy on her either. It wasn’t the best situation, I was being a really tough teenager and I commend her for handling it as well as she did.
Anyhow, I hate to cut this short but I don’t think I need any more details than that- for the sake of being discreet. But I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you comment and continue to ask or at least maybe relate to it, understand where I’m coming from. It’s a special bond I think between siblings but when you meet someone who’s belonged in it for so long- that’s different. I am so blessed and glad to have her found all of us. That’s her story….. and I’m glad she did!
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What did you think about this crazy timeline of events? What would you have done or have felt?