This post is loosely about “The Five Love Languages” and I really liked putting thought into this for new, fresh ways that I should even apply more of the ‘showing instead of just telling’ someone you love them. I don’t know about you but I’m not always the best at remembering to be present and show love. I’m working on this and striving to be a better listener for my marriage. I’m still reading through this book so I will not claim to be any kind of expert or know it all but, I am familiar and clear with the principles it’s based on. It’s a book I’d love to read with my husband but neither of us are big readers, so we will see.
say I love you, give a compliment, use kind words to describe them etc.
The easiest and simplest way of showing someone you love them is by simply telling them. But as you say it let the words sink in deep. Just like people rush into bed or marriage sometimes you should never rush into an “I love you”. You should always mean it and never say it just to make someone love you. These words are not to be taken lightly obviously because it helps our significant others feel more cherished and appreciated. Even if it turns out to be something you don’t even know about- I’ll use this as a great example. I never knew how my husband talks about me when I’m not there- but after a recent conversation, he admittedly said something like “I’m always raving and ranting about how wonderful you are and how much you help and care for me everyday…My friends know how much I love you.” It was totally in the back of my mind and I never batted an eye but it melted my heart to hear how kind he is especially when I’m not there.
help them with something (a task)
A great way to show he’s loved is by helping him do a task that you may not be a part of normally like gardening or helping him fix something. This also works well vice versa by having his help and bonding over easy chores you’d like a hand with: pesky laundry or dirty dishes, make it fun and playful so you can express the love while you accomplish something. You do a task without expecting anything in return , the act in itself is showing outwardly affection. In our home, from the start of moving to a rental house we divided chores to be fair so if Sean mows the lawn, I know my job is dog poo poo duty before he does. That’s still (to us) a small task that shows love because it’s helpful and one less thing he has to do in the end. It also saves his bad back too which I know he appreciates.
gift them something with genuine thought (not always something bought)
Now this one is more about the thought and intention behind the action and less about the actual gift or presentation. If I were to try this, it would be a homemade card or a hot cocoa mix or thinking of making a care package for a certain person or time that would be helpful. This could also fall under like helping with a task because you could make a special dinner, put out a nice presentation, decorate and make dessert. Like to me, even though it’s not a big thing- getting fresh flowers are a grand gesture because it’s rare and I love it that much more!
show them with hugs or physical affection
Being psychical is a keystone to any relationship so if that is an area you’re lacking then I suggest to create more effort there. The smallest actions have the biggest effect on a person and their love meter. Like in our relationship- I love it when he kisses me on my forehead or holds my hands and strokes the back of it to calm me. He enjoys when I sit on his lap, give him big hugs or cuddle and lay next to him. He wants to see
and feel my affection before anything else. This is also part of his love language- he’s a physical touch person. But it’s not really mine so I’m much less dependant on these things to feel love.
I hope these ideas help you to spend more time with your significant other and be closer to them by doing small little things that they might appreciate. What small thing could you do for your significant other or spouse that would show them love today?
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