So today I’m going to talk about friendship and if you don’t have a lot of close people in your life, the ways you can connect with new friends and people you have commonalities with online. There’s no rule about only knowing people in real life (or “IRL”) because the way I see it, it’s all real life. No matter where you are the internet connects us, we are all intertwined. We all do this life together one way or another- so be someone’s best friend.
- be that friend that you’d like to have
Lead by example. Trust is so big in a friendship and so is honesty- if you want to keep friends in any sense these are two qualities and skills you must possess and practice often. Be someone that they can depend on and be that in return as well. No flaking out, don’t be lazy, don’t mooch or be too selfish. No one wants to be around that sort of person. Always be nice and genuine and express gratitude when appropriate. Say Please and thank you! Those still go a long way.
I’m not talking once a month or when so and so comes into town. I was once lazy about precious friendships and surely I lost those people in my life. We no longer speak. Too much time passed and too many things were left unsaid- our bonds disappeared and we crumbled. It doesn’t work if you aren’t committed to each other. Daily, weekly for sure and as much and as often as you can the better. The perfect advice I have is if you’re thinking about them, they are probably thinking about you. So take a moment to reach out and say Hi!
- be there through thick and thin
Who do you want by your side when things get hard or even when things are going good? Those who support you and cradle you are the true ones. When someone is down or having a hard time what do you do for others? You listen without talking, relate some maybe and overall have a gentle demeanor. So when you need someone you want the type of person who will do the same. When things are good you celebrate and cheer each other on, so do plenty of that too!
- share interests and common goals
Whether it’s writing, blogging, playing games, motherhood, crafting or DIY’ing- whatever it is you love to do, your passion is your tribe. You find your tribe by loving your passion. Take time to brainstorm and talk about your dreams, goals and desires- it grows a friendship by collaborating on a project or being a sounding board for someone. If someone needs your help or advice on a project be there and support them as best you can. It’s fun to find things in common when you are not able to be close- I often send pins to my mommyhood friends and wedding decor to those who are getting married and might appreciate my aesthetic. Or I make a fun playlist and give it to someone I know would enjoy a workout playlist or a work mode jam session. It’s really nice to think of others and will only strengthen that bond.
“Do small things with great love.” (Mother Teresa)
- share about yourself and don’t be afraid to connect
To be a true friend you have to put yourself out there. It’s much like being in a relationship- you need to be vulnerable and trust that the other person will trust and respect you and you do the same in return. It’s a give and take that can either come naturally or be very difficult. All those yucky things in the corner of your mind, slowly open up all those feelings that helps dust off the cobwebs of your life- plus I promise, it feels way good to share the good stuff and the tough stuff too!
- try these ways to communicate when you’re far apart
- Instant Messaging
- Twitter (and other social media accounts-Instagram, Pinterest etc)
- Facebook Chats
- Letters/pen pals
- FaceTime (if you’re both Apple users)
- blog comments
- talk to text/voice messaging or apps like Voxer
- and make plans to visit if at all possible.
I’m hoping that these points help you make and keep some great new friends online that can become your IRL tribe- because my girls have become mine! Thank you to Pam, Rae, Taush and Krysten- I know there’s many more but I’d ride or die for these four, love ya all so much!